29 Days

My Peace Lily slowly but surely "reborning"

These past few weeks I've been feeling like I was spending way too much time in my head, so I started to read this book about giving, called 29 Gifts by Cami Walker. First of all, I would like to point out that I'm one of those people that worry about not having enough for the future. That's how I am wired, I'm not sure why, probably because of so many years working as a piano teacher, getting paid by the hour, and not knowing what the next week will look like, or maybe because my anxiousness sometimes gets the best of me. 

I decided to take what I read to the next level and give more without worrying about "lacking" or "not having enough for later". I decided to achieve a mental state of abundance to have and to give - at least momentarily -, and I believe I was pretty successful at it. 

Here is what happened the first four days:

Day 1 - There would be more bags:

I had a paper bag with a few things I wanted to donate to Goodwill. When this is the case, I usually use a big Ikea bag to carry the paper bags to drop off and take the Ikea bag back home with me. I only own one of those Ikea bags, big and sturdy at the same time (you know, the blue ones). While I was getting ready to head out, I decided to also leave the Ikea bag in the drop-off area, with the paper bags inside. I left the whole thing. I decided to think that there will be more trips to Ikea and the opportunity to own more bags such as that one (that I liked so much) in the future.

Day 2 - There would be more money:

I needed a haircut for a while, the thing I always postpone until the last minute since getting a haircut in NYC is expensive and not always a great experience. I googled "hair salons" and headed to an area that had the most concentration of hair salons. I entered on a funky-looking one and the reason I did so it's because it had 5-star reviews on Google. The reviews about the stylist were ravishing. I decided to give it a try. It turns out that the guy was extremely friendly and knew how to cut and treat my type of hair. I paid for his services and gave him a $25 tip without hesitating or doubting myself. I decided to think that money comes and goes and that the tip was reasonable for the great job he did. 

Day 3 - There would be more opportunities to give more:

It was Sunday, and at church, I usually like to give $5 or more in the collection basket, but instead, I gave $2 and Nick gave $1 because that's what we had at the moment. After church, we went to a cafe and gave a 10% tip to the waiter, who was also very kind and treated us very well. Right after this, we went to the supermarket and I left $0.50 in the cashier's tip jar. This particular day I decided to give what I had and what I could give comfortably and in peace with myself,  without worrying if it was too little or too much, or if someone was thinking less of me because of it. 

Day 4 - Is not always about money:

In the book, the author also mentions ways she started giving non-monetary things (time, help, attention, etc.). I decided to do so myself and that day I "gave" relief: I consciously looked around me to see what could be done for someone else, and I saw a lady that was heading to the same store I was. I opened and held the door for her since she had her hands full with packages. To help alleviate the inconvenience of a person, even if it's for a few seconds, I consider it a huge gift. 

At the end of the 29 days, I felt much better and my perception started to shift. I realized that I didn't need that Ikea bag this entire time or in the near future, my net worth was not affected at all, my patience and understanding increased, and I was even more willing to give myself gifts that I don't give myself often, such as watching my favorite dance videos while working out, removing my work inbox from my phone, or reaching out to family and friends just because (I always worry about disturbing people since they're probably busy or whatever excuse my mind makes up). 

This life is not always easy to navigate. Sometimes we are our worst enemies, but a bit of awareness and self-reflection goes a long way. In our quest to identify and change something we don't exactly like that much about ourselves, we can start making micro changes that could lead to joyful moments.